pe'el empat beradik part 4/4

Korang sok merasalah benda benda ni…mak aku dah merasa dah…

Aku tak pernah bercita cita nak jadi cikgu. Aku nak jadi doctor. Betul. Aku nak jadi doctor. 

betul...

Kecenderungan aku ke arah bidang perubatam dah terserlah sejak aku tadika lagi. Masa mak aku meniaga jaga kedai…aku aaada jerlah menempel kat kedai tu jugak…takde mane nak hantar ke taska ke ape ke…semua mak aku kendong bawa ofis…kiranya…formative years aku banyak kat stesen minyak tu lah…kat bawah meja mak aku tulah playground aku…situlah aku masak…situlah camping….bercakap sorang sorang dengan teddy bear teddy bear aku…

ada satu hari tu…aku main doktor doktor dengan patung patung aku…

“oohhh…saya sakitlah doktor…”

doktor bertelinga arnab berkata: “oh sakit…kamu kena makan ubat ini…misi bagi dia makan ubat…”

misi bermisai kucing pon kata: “baiklah…telan lah pil ini…”

aku pon buat buat amek “ubat” tu dari tangan misi bermisai kucing…aku pon telan lah “ubat” tu…

lima saat…30 saat…seminit…aku dah start menggelupur…menggagau lah mak aku…

“dik…ko kenapa ni dikkk???”

aku dah tak terkata ape dah…tunjuk tunjuk anak tekak…

aku rasa mak aku dah dapat agak dah ape aku buat…

“yang kau pegi telan syiling dua pusen tu buat ape diikkk…”

mak aku bawa aku keluar…jolok jolok anak tekak aku kat tepi longkang kat tepi ofis stesen tu…perghk…perit weh…

moral of the story: janganlah kedekut…belilah set mainan yang betul untuk anak anak.

pe'el empat beradik part 3/4

Korang sok merasalah benda benda ni…mak aku dah merasa dah…

 +

Gambar di atas…cuba anda combinekan…

Sukar? tak boleh? Macam mana?

Ternyata anda tak ada akal yang kreatif seperti budak di atas…

Abang aku yang lagi sorang ni…extra nakal weh…borderline ADD gitu…

Masa dia umur umur tadika jugak lah…tah ape dia buat kat belakang rumah tu…

Sayup sayup jer bunyi orang nangis minta tolong… “maaa maaa maaa….maaa maaa maaa….”

Bila mak aku jumpa abang aku tu…dia dah terhoyong hayang dah…dengan tin tu dah fully serkup kepala dia…abang aku…umpama…robokop tak jadi…manusia berkepala tin…hahahahahaha…

Puas la mak aku sapu minyak…sabun dan segala bagai nak tarik keluar tin tu…tak berjaya…sebab telinga abang aku tu dah terstuck…kan tin milo tu dia tak straight…macam ada sisi kat bahagian dalam tin tu…argh…korang tengoklah tin susu anak masing masing…abang aku dah kepanasan ketakutan ape semua bagai…melulong lulong…hahahahaha…kejadian berlaku kat rumah masa tu…mak aku terpaksalah berjalan kaki…jauh tak jauh la…sambil memimpin anak separa robokop dia tu ke stesen minyak kitaorg…minta tolong pomen kat situ…hahahahahaha…akhirnya berjaya gak lah cabut tin tu…pomen tu kena pial mulut tin tu dengan spana…ha…berasap kepala abang aku kat dalam tin tu…padan muka.

Moral of the story: beli milo peket.

pe'el empat beradik part 2/4

Korang sok merasalah benda benda ni…mak aku dah merasa dah…

abang aku yang suka jaga badan tu…dia sebenarnya anak pungut…pungut dari longkang lak tu…

masa dia umur tadika tadika la…dia ikut arwah pak lang aku gi pekan…abang aku duduk kat belakang…time time arwah pak lang aku nak cornering lah dia gi bukak pintu kereta…apa lagi…tergolek golek lah abang aku…terus masuk dalam longkang yang kat deret klinik murthi kat pekan kuala pilah tu…terpaksalah arwah pak lang aku berhenti keta and pungut dia dari dalam longkang…

moral of the story: gunakanlah system child-lock pada kereta masing masing.

pe'el empat beradik part 1/4

Korang sok merasalah benda benda ni…mak aku dah merasa dah…

Akak aku dari kecik memang suka melawa weh…Ayah aku pernah tengking dia masa dia kecik kecik nak gi tadika…sebab ape? Sebab akak aku tak leh nak decide nak pakai baju ape pergi tadika. PERGI TADIKA HOKEY…tadika…kekejap tukar baju…eh, tak betul…tukar lagi…tukar lagi dan lagi dan lagi…ayah aku dah tunggu kat luar…panggil…kejap kejap…panggil lagi…kejaaaaappp...tiga kali kejap…ayah aku naik hangin la…ha amek kau…

Pastu pernah gak sekali…akak aku ni kepingin bona nak pakai cincin agak eh…ha…dia amek nut screw tu buat cincin nokkk….hahahahahaha…arwah pak lang aku dulu kerja dengan LLN (Lembaga Letrik Negara laie weh time tuh…)…melaramlah dia depan cermin…oklah…dah puas melaram…keluarkanlah “cincin” nut tu…

“ma…” tunjuk jari yang dah membengkak. “tak leh bukak…”

“Haaaaaaahhh???…ape kau dah buat ni…..berangan sangat nak pakai cincin…tak payah bukak…pakailah sampai bila la…”

memang tak leh bukak…sebab akak aku dah simpan lama sangat cincin dia tu…jari dia dah membengkak…kat hospital pon…doctor kena bius jari tu dan…*untuk part ni…sila tahan perut* literally screw it out of her finger….pusing pusing pusing sampai nut tu terkeluar dari jari akak aku…melulong…

nasib baiklah…dah besar…dah kawin…dah ada business yang semakin berkembang…dapat akak aku beli cincin betul…alhamdullillah…

moral of the story: simpan lah bold an nut di tempat yang tidak boleh dicapai budak budak.

occupational hazard

Semua kerja ada occupational hazard masing masing.

Tukang buat kek melecur tangan.

Tukang buat baju tercucuk jarum.

Tukang buat hantaran tercucuk duri daun bunga ros.

Tukang buat pelamin terstapler-gun tangan sendiri.

Tukang buat kecoh kena pukul.

Tukang isi minyak pon ada occupational hazardnya yang sendiri.

Ada sebab weh kenapa…bila dah masuk mana mana stesen minyak…buang lah rokok kau tuh…

Brader ni naik motor…dia datang kat pam aku. Kebetulan adik perempuan dia pon kerja sekali kat situ…aku pon malas lah nak layan brader tu…aku suruh adik dia jer yang isi.

Brader ni kiranya macam gengster la…rokok ada jerk at mulut dia…nak terjatuh tak terjatuh…enjin pon tak nka matikan…aku pon malas nak tegur…lantaklah…dia bawa motor yang jenis tangki kat depan tu…yang tak yah nak turun motor bila nak isi minyak tu…adik dia pon isilah minyak…seriously…tak sampai beberapa minit…API MENJULANG NAIK…adik dia menjerit…dia tekangkang kangkang elak api…haaa…baru padan muka…then ayah datang bawa fire extinguisher…daripada oren terus jadi putih kawasan sekeliling…tak pasal pasal rambut adik dia terbakar jugak sikit…then ayah bisik: “nasib baik bukan kau isi motor dia tu tadi dik…” 

Bila ada pam attendant ni dulu…memang driver berlagak tuan besar weh…bila tanya berapa bang…nak tak nak jer jawab…kadang kadang tak pandang pon…bila nak confirmkan balik…”dua puloh ke bang?” “Dua puloh laaah…berapa kali nak cakap…” Pergh bang…kereta kau datsun burok tu jer kot…bukan main ‘ek kau yor…Dahlah berlagak…bodoh pulak tu…tak alert…Bila kita tengah isi minyak…dia menonong jer pandang depan…dia gak agak cam sepuloh ringgit tu dah habis isi…vrrooommm terus nak cabut…ha kau…apa lagi…tercabut lah pam…lintang pukang gak lah sesape yang tengah isi minyak tu nak take cover…kot tak…hose pam tu melayang laying melantun lantun…kena libas,,,insyaAllah mati.

Kes macam ni…kena bagitau bos…

“Ma…pam kena tarik…”

“cik cik…pam kono tarik cik…”

haruslah disambut dengan bebelan mak aku…

“Maaaacam mana korang kerja niiihhhhhhhh…” semua perkataan kena tekan lebih sikit bila sebut.

Ada gak driver yang terus lari…ada gak driver yang berhenti…ada gak yang bayar ganti rugi…ada gak yang tak nak…bila cakap pasal ganti rugi ni…teruslah semua pihak menuding nuding jari.

It happened to me twice…

One time, it really caught me off guard…driver tu memang terus jer start enjin cabut…aku sempat bongkok sikit tutup muka…muka lah…dan jerit…jerit itu penting…muka pon penting…

Kali kedua…aku macam dah dapat agak yang driver ni mesti ingat aku dah habis isi minyak keta dia…sesaat lepas tu dia start enjin…aku hempuk bonet kereta dia nak bagi warning…tapi tak guna gak…aku hempuk, dia start kereta, pam tercabut, aku mmg peluk lutut cover kepala.

Kemek bonet dia aku hempuk. Aku kata tu impact nozel tu bila dia melayang. 

pagoda and pijot II

this was ayah's tough-for-all-terrain pijot!!! 

peugeot (read: per-joe) pijot (read: pijot laa..duh) same thing...

evidently, this trusty pijot took him on a wild ride...both literally, as seen in the picture on your left...and figuratively, evidently in the picture on your right.

it was no laughing matter you know with what has happened to picture on your right...if it was not for the tree..ayah would have crushed the house beneath and killed the elderly couple, as their bedroom was just inches away the car...you can literally open their bedroom window and retrieve anything from the glove compartment of the pijot. i took this picture...so i know...

i experienced my first fun-in-the-wild with ayah quite accidentally because of this pijot as well.

he took me and my other brother (not the jaga badan one) to see some of his friends who were already there at the camping ground...he was not supposed to join them but just to...i don't know la...so...he was not suppose to stay...that's why he brought us along...kalau tak, jangan harap la...

when i saw the camping ground...oh, yes, his friends are camping all right...but not on the ground!!! they were instead "camping" on a fragile looking hut on stilts that perched above the RIVEEERRRRR!!! and to get there...you have to walk along a very thin and flimsy looking bridge...

                           I'm determined to show you the bridge...it was the pole marked with 1 dot. 

2 dots is a tree by the way.

3 dots and 4 dots i guess were the back-up bridge should 1 dot collapsed!!!!!

so...ok...i did not die...i managed to get to the hut safely...not making a lot of movement tho...for fear the hut collapsed and fell into the fierce-looking river...apparently...they built the hut for fishing purposes...something like that...to catch fish...no bubu no fishing pole uollss...cacak pondok atas sungai terus!

when we were about to go back in the evening...ayah found out that his headlight did not work...fius terbakar or something like that....if he insisted to continue his journey without the headlight...he would not have make it even out of the shallow wood. 

when i think about it now...ayah could have sabotaj his own headlight...just so he could stay...hahahahaha...because i still remember, he called mom and said: "kawan tak boleh balik la...lampu depan rosak..." sambil senyum senyum sengih...

so...my fate with the hut is sealed...i have to sleep there apparently...gulp...all boys some more...

oh, did i mention...the hut has NO WALL????????? you golek golek la masa tido...terus tergolek masuk dalam sungai...and to my friends who knew me...im not polite when i sleep. 

i could not sleep well...but because i could not sleep well...i could see how bright the moon was...it literally lit up the whole area...the river, the wood, the trees...the water was literally shining because of the moon...the sound of cricket and other insects...so soothing...the sound of water...if you sleep on your tummy...you could see the water running from in between the bamboo floor...

i woke up tomorrow morning with the urgent need to answer the nature's call in the nature (no pun intended)...i told my father...

"yah...nak gi toilet..."

"hahahaha...mana ada toilet sini..."

i still remember...i widen my eyes whilst at the same time...kemut...so that "it" will go up and never want to go down...but i failed...

"tapi aye tak leh tahan dah ni..."

"ok...jom...jom gi toilet"

his "toilet" was behind some huge huge fallen log.

i never felt so calm answering the nature's call in the nature.

pagoda and pijot I

 ayah...through the years...

we were flipping through these old pictures...and we were surprised by the similarities...pakaian ayah!!!

hahahahahaha...

MESTI pagoda putih round neck nipis nampak puting tetek ngan seluar jean Lee biru pudar pudar ada putih putih sikit...

the oldest should be the first two landscape pictures...

the first one, with the boys proudly posing with their catch-of-the-day, ayah was the third from left (yes, your left)...ya ya...belakang yang tengah posing maut dengan tangan cekak pinggang...cermin mata hitam lengkap...walau dalam hutan...(ape? you kata you vain??? dia lagi vain!!!)

The second landscape picture by the river...ayah was the one standing...

the third landscape picture...ayah was the on standing...

the last two portrait pictures...ha...tekalah yang mana satu ayah...hahahaha...

with his family...without fail...pagoda and jeans...

berapa bang...

dulu…sebelum zaman angkat-masuk-picit ni…kita memang macam raja weh kat stesen minyak…hahahaha…semua pam attendent buat…kau duduk jerlah dalam kereta.

Sebabkan bukan tuan punya kereta yang angkat-masuk-picit…memang bermacam macam…BERMACAM MACAM kes lah terjadi…human error memang banyak giler…and sudah pasti pam attendant akan kena tiaw kaw kaw punya dengan tuan punya kereta DAN juga dengan tuan punya stesen, iaitu mak aku…HAHAHAHAHAHA…tapi, masa tu tak kelakar lah…anak ke pekerja ke…sama je…*

*Kitaorang dulu ada meniaga stesen minyak masa kat kampung. Dulu la…sekarang takde dah…

Contoh:

Tersalah dengar takpe lagi…

Kereta datang…kau tanya…”berapa bang?” Driver tangan tunjuk angka 2. Kau pun, menggunakan logika akal…kereta+angka 2 = dua puluh ringgit lah kan…kau pon angkat-masuk-picit…bila dah setel…

“Eh dik…abang nak dua ringgit jer…yang kau isi sampai dua puloh ringgit buat ape?” yang nak bayar takpe lagi weh…ada gak yang tak nak langsung bayar..sanggup tu suruh kitaorang sedut balik minyak tu…yang tak nak bayar tu…ada jerlah doa doa aku kasi kat dia…

Bila nak penoh…kau tersalah bajet…tertumpah lak…tuan kereta nampak lak…boss lak ada kat luar time tu…perghkk…memang rasa nak berhenti kerja…

Paling sadis bila kau tersalah masuk minyak…perghk…kereta patut minyak hijau kau masukkan diesel…mati weh MATI…kes macam ni kronik…memang lah kau kena sedut balik…memanglah kau kena notify tuan punya stesen..memanglah kau mati kena tiaw pastu…

Kalau bebelan itu boleh membunuh…aku rasa…mak aku dah banyak kali keluar masuk jel.

Kadang kadang tak cukup staff…cubalah agak sape kena sit-in jadi pam attendent???

KAMILAH…kami ahli ahli keluarga tuan punya stesen…

-__-   

I vote myself as the cutest pam attendent e-ver.

And mak aku memang ada reputasi sikit dikalangan pelanggan pelanggannya…hehehehe…uollss nilailah sendiri reputasi macam mana…lol…

Abang ipar aku pernah sekali tu tersalah isi minyak...tah macam mana tah…terisi diesel kot kat dalam motor…cam tu lah…ape lagi…semak la kepala dia…abang ipar aku ingat kepala dia semak…tengok tengok…kepala tuan punya motor tu laaagi semak…bukan semak motor dia dah tersalah isi minyak…tapi semak dengan tuan punya stesen kat dalam office tu ha…hahahahahahaha…dia memang nak setelkan hal tu antara abang ipar aku ngan dia jerlah…tak nak libatkan tuan punya stesen…selalunyakan driver driver ni naik angin and insist nak jumpa nak complaint kat boss…yang ni tebalik lak…

“takpe bro takpe bro…kita tolak motor ni ke tepi…kita setel tepi…wa tak tahan ar kot boss lu tau…”

…obviously dia tak tau “boss lu” tu adalah mak mentua abang ipar aku.

Hahahahaha…

dewi remaja

I grew up with heavy influence from my sister…the 9-year gap managed to make me literally looked up to her about many things…(I was shorter then you see…now not anymore… me, tunduk: “hi long…” she, dongak: “hi dik…”)

She liked to buy Remaja…a very hip and happening magazine of that time. 

I know…Remaja right…tsk tsk tsk tsk…

But, because I’m her sister and I’m supposed to think that whatever that was from her were supposed to be cool…so I thought Remaja was the coolest thing e-ver also…

I liked to read Remaja…so informational (now: is it?)…so made me want to grow up faster and faster…I would gazed non stop at the finalist of Dewi Remaja…hoping one day…I would be in it too…(…then weight caught me and stayed…so sad…)

Another section in Remaja that I like most would be the cerpen section…wow… kalah novel nora elena tu hokey… terbuai buai bila baca… melayang layang lah aku…terbayang bayang jadi heroin dalam cerpen tu…senyum senyum sendiri….hahahahahaha…

I started writing my own fantasy cerpen too…I NEVER SHOWED IT TO ANYONE!!! now…I did not even know where I have out them… berpuluh cerpen ok aku tulis…semua cheesy cheesy belaka…nama pon of course tak hengat…stok stok yang heroin bawa kereta…pastu kereta kena potong ngan motor besar yang laju…heroin marah marah…ngomel ngomel…tiba tiba kereta heroin rosak…tengok tengok yang tolong mamat bawa motor besar tadi…acehwah…

Heroin berkasar ngan lelaki nih…sangat kurang ajar la…then heroin ni sakit…tengok tengok yang merawat dia tu…lelaki yang dia dah terkurang ajar tadi…acehwah…

You know…cheesy story like these…wakakakakaka…

And I must say…I really thought this guy is so great...orang kuat majalah Remaja tuuu…

lang si

At my work place, from office to my class.

I waited for the elevator’s door to open (I wanted to go down) and when it did, it was full of Chinese students.

I just said: “It’s okay…” It was going up anyway…

Just when the doors were about to meet…one of the male student, whilst looking straight at me, said, in Mandarin la of course: “Neeh…this is the lecturer lor that they say is very lang si one…”

-__-

inhale…

exhale…

wait aaa…I might teach you next sem…

map

For our mom’s 6-series birthday...we decided to held a small makan-makan gathering with close family members. 

My sister was in charged of getting the cake, and my jaga badan brother was instructed to get us satay kajang (he gasped actually)…and kak farah was kind hearted enough to belanja us kepci (according to her spelling) and apam cumel dot dot.

I was strongly suspicious of my jaga badan brother’s sense of direction. Hence, to avoid any excuses form him, such as: “I cannot find satay kajang…I get you guys salads instead…”, I drew him a very very VERY detailed and comprehensive map to get the satay kajang…

I know…I thought so too…^_^ my sense of direction is much much much better than him…so as my visual memory…

We enjoyed the satay very much…he had may be like three…?...rugi rugi…

rare ni weh...

...gambar wa tanpa spek tuuu...

yeerrr

I do not often reveal that I know how to read, write, and speak Mandarin. Therefore, telling my students this extra bit of information about me is not a priority too.

I often have to control my facial expression every time my students complained about their assignments, gossiped about me, their group members and so on…

Most of the time, it was only after a few weeks into the lecture that my students would know. Most of the time, it was unintentional.

Student, in Mandarin.

“yeerrr…so troublesome…assignment like this also want us to do…”

Teacher, in English.

“it’s okay if you do not want to do it…I do not mind not marking it too.”

Student – small eye became big.

Teacher – smile smile and dismissed the class.

mei ling

a couple of years ago, I moved out of my rented house in sec 17, shah alam into another state and eventually settled back into selangor in equin park, seri kembangan. for some twist of fate…some of my geng rumah 17 moved in with me at equin park as well…jolly fun fun fun…our landlord was a very kind-but-limited-malay-vocab Chinese lady. I did not reveal to her that I can read, write and speak in mandarin…

so for three odd years as her tenant…we talk german with her…and her vice versa…

Until the situation became too dire.

the sink in the bathroom broke…it fell and turned into pieces. I didn’t have a clue how it happened.

we called our tenant…explained to her using the simplest malay ev-ver…but failed…she went like…

“…ooh….itu AAA…itu sing cuci itu mangKOK ka?”

“bukan, bukan auntie…itu sink dalam bilik mandi punya. Sink kecik”

“apa pasat lu mandi itu sing buleh kasi pecah?”

eh…

“bukan auntie…sink yang pecah itu adalah sink dalam bilik mandi…toilet toilet…”

“ooo toilet…tandas picah laaaa…apa pasat tandas buleh picah? Itu mahat oooo…”

“eh…mahal ke auntie…murah je lah saya rasa…”

“lu macam mana pigi toilet?”

eh…

this goes on until several more minutes…despite the lengthy explanation, the repairman did not come.

We reached the pinnacle.

“ti…ko kena explain kat auntie tu lah ti…ko kena explain ngan dia…ko cakap cina la ti…”

“aku tojeng la cik has…dan dan aku tau cakap cina plak…kesian dia doh…macam kena tipu jer nanti dia rasa…”

“habis tu…aku rasa dia tak faham tu der…”

“adoiiiiiii…kot aku dari awal dah cakap cina ngan dia tak per weh…”

then…

light bulb…

eureka…

I called our beloved auntie…

“auntie ar…saya ada satu kawan ni…dia tau cakap cina punya…dia kasi explain sama auntie pasal masalah ni ok…”

“ha ok ok ok…lagi sinang…”

“sekejap ar auntie…”

I merely put the phone inches away, pretending to be calling out to my “friend”…

by now, the others were holding onto their stomach for dear life…

I passed the phone to my Chinese-speaking “friend”.

In mandarin…I said…

“Wei…auntie...wo shi mei ling…shi…dui de…wo shi siti de peng you…tui aa…ta jiao wo lai bang ta 

jie shi yi dian dong…dui… … …”

translation:

“hello auntie, im mei ling, yes, right on, im siti’s friend...right…she asked me to come and help her to explain…yes…”

problem solved after that…

…not without donning my mandarin-speaking alter ego mei ling.

don't pry pry

I had this wild idea of incorporating facebook into my teaching…and so I did.

I was so excited to introduce this method of assessment via facebook to my students and decided to introduce it in my next lecture.

I went to my class and was horrified to find another lecturer using the room that I was supposed to be lectured in.

He explained to me that his original lecture room’s computer was broken so he had to illegally bring his student into mine.

I had to reason with the lecturer that I could not let him use my classroom for I need to use the computer too and he instructed his entire class to another lecture room.

As his students was leaving the lecture room…the last few Chinese female students saw me opening the facebook homepage.

…and they said, in full Mandarin: 

“yeerrr you see you see…she asks us to leave just so she can open her fb and play fb…so selfish ler…”

others added: “people like this also got…trouble other people only…huh…”

I stood up, straightened my cotton baju kurung, turned to them and said, in full Mandarin also ha…

"Sorry ya, the facebook account that I am opening right now is an account for student to access because I have instructed them to do something for their coursework here inside this facebook account so I do not deliberately chase you all out just so I can access the facebook account for my own personal entertainment. Please do not misunderstand ok.”

No blood on their face.

“…oh…ok ok…” nodding their head incessantly.

Don’t pry pry with me you know…

lempeng black

this happened years ago…but talking about it still brings laughter.

I’m the kicap queen. I like to eat kicap with almost e-ve-ry-thing.

Nasi lemak

Tempe

Nasi with any lauk

Roti canai (yes, roti canai)

So, that morning, my mom was making lempeng for breakfast…

so you’ve guessed it right…I ate it with kicap as well…nyum nyum…

We ate and chatted. 

Then my nephew woke up and sat with us at the table. He was then…no more than 5 I think…

My mom asked him…

“Harris nak makan tak?”

“nak…”

so my mom handed him a plate of lempeng.

“tak nak yang ni nek…nak yang lain…nak yang black…”

O_o

“ape nyer yang balck long?”

“ntah…lempeng nil ah kot nak yang black…”

“lempeng black macam mana…tak tau nenek der…”

“ntah la ma…”

my mom was trying her best to come out with a lempeng black.

She tried overcooked it a bit…hanguskan sikit…still…

Harris said…

“tak nak…ma…nak yang black…”

“ni black la ni…” my sister pointing at the slightly burnt lempeng.

“bukan yang ni…nak yang black…yang black macam mummy tu…” little finger pointing at me as I was shoving my dripped-in-kicap lempeng into my mouth…

birthday girl

today – 17^th June 2011, is my mom’s birthday.

As her birthday present…we ask her to do this…

So that she can enjoy this in the evening…

Some more…because we love her…we treat her with macaroon…

My mom’s take on macaroon: “sedap lagi candy kelapa bini maniam buat masa deepavali…”

But then quickly shove diabetic medicine to her…

Happy birthday Mama

*waive* thank you kak farah for the diabetic-induced macaroon…

siti masak?!?!?!?!?

semalam aku masak.

To those who knew me…eheh…I don’t rarely cook.

No…no…no…chill people…it’s not that I don’t want to…but…sigh…just refer to this entry à don't be amaze why i cannot cook...

But yesterday…16/06/2011…I cooked.

Yesterday my mother was very sluggish…there were many times or occasions where I can sort of sense her hesitation to cook…

There are not many people in this household of mine…just the three of us…an elderly who doesn’t eat a lot, a son who jaga badan, and a daughter who is force to jaga badan by her jaga badan brother…evil. 

So, there’s not much point in cooking…lagi leceh adalah…haha…

Jaga badan brother: 

“Ma, masak sup jer ma…” 

“Ma, banyak na minyak tu ma…” 

“Ma, hari ni saya tak nak makan.” 

“Ma, nak rebus kacang buncis jer.”

So, all the food are so not challenging to a chef…so, chef pon naik malas nak masak…

And yesterday…mama takde mood nak masak.

So, I declared… 

“Hokey la ma, hari ni biar aye masak la!!!” dengan penoh semangat.

………………silent………………

“ko nak masak? Nak masak ape?”

“MAGGI GORENG!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“hahahahahaha…masak la dek ko….”

A few minutes later…

“ma bawang putih nak kena pakai berapa?

“ma, kena letak bawang merah ke?”

“ma. Nak letak ikan bilis boleh ke? Berapa banyak?”

“ma, bawang putih ni elok potong nipis nipis je ke nak blend ke nak tumbuk?”

“ape? Tumbuk? Ok…”

at this point, my mum came into the kitchen…sarcastically encouragingly said: 

“nilah first time aku tengok si siti ni menumbuk lesung kat dapur ni ha…rare nih…”

i still have a lot of questions to ask, but I refrain myself from doing so for fear my mum would lost her temper and goreng the maggi goreng herself…

but…I could not…

“ma, dah mendidih ni…elok masuk telur dulu ke magi dulu?”

tung tang tung tang tung tang…screamed here and there a bit…magi goreng was gorenged…then we ate.

“sedap ke ma???”

“seeedaaaaapppppp…” she said.

tapi mama tak tambah.

-__-

as I said, elderly tak makan banyak.

But then again…at least my mother finished her her bowl…

My still-traumatised (because I cook) sister, just had a few strands of the maggi goreng…for fear of food poisoning.

twenty years ago

1997

I was 7 years old. A few weeks into my primary one in a Chinese school. For a primary one, I was considered quite tall. Naturally, I would be seated at the back. I had no qualms about it until…

“inilah hor incik jainal…saya rasa hor, anak you hor…siti hor…ada masalah sikit lor…dia hor…selalu salah hor tulis…saya rasa hor…dia tarak nampak itu papan hitam…emak dia ada pakai cermin mata ka? Mungkin la mungkin dia ni hor labun jugak lor…”

off I went after school to kedai cermin mata.

antara spek spek pertama ai...ai dah lama dah pakai ala-ala wayfarer...

Since then, countless frames have decorated my face…besar, kcik…rectangle, square…yang plastik yang besi…And since then, countless frames have been stepped on…sat on…hahahahaha…

“Yah…cermin mata patah…”

“Laa patah lagi??? Ala…cian anak ayah tak nampak…jom jom kita gi buat baru…”

sangat rasa disayangi...

do not approach the other person…

“Ma…cermin mata patah…”

“Patah laaaaaaaagi??? Setahun ko nak tukar berapa kali spek ko ni dik…aku heranlah spek yang patut diletak kat muka tu, ko letak merata merata tempat buat ape? Tak sampai setahun pakai dah patah dah bengkok dah pecah…spek aku ni ha…takdelah bertukar tukar, dah bertahun tahun dah…tu yang aku heran…macam mana ko pakai spek ko tu…elok diikat je kat muka ko tu…kalau dikumpullah spek spek ko sebelum ni…boleh bukak kedai spek dah satu…ni spek baru ni kang, tah berapa lama lah tahan…*dengus* tak faham aku…”

sungguh rasa disayangi…

-__-

As I grew older…friends started to nag me to put on contact lenses instead…I tried…then I abandoned the idea for two very-simple-but-my-friends-cannot-accept-it reasons:

1. ai tak rasa cantik kalau ai tak pakai spec.

2. ai malas dan rimas dengan ritual ritual nak buka and pakai and store kanta lekap itu.

percutian tunjuk

my holiday scheme works like this:

plan and tell: you plan first kaw kaw with your friends; then you ask demand you parents’ permission about it. If they say no, well…

“tapi…tapi…tapi ma…tiket semua dah beli dah...chalet semua dah book dah…takde refund…”

my mother, yang sangat careful dengan duit tu…upon hearing “takde refund” (rugilah kan…$$$ tak semena mena nanti terbang…) had no choice but to let me go…

“ape nak dicari kat tioman tu dikkkk…ko ni…takdelah reti nak duduk diam…ke sana ke mari…berenang haram tak tau…pergi nak ke pulau aje…tak tau aku der…ko pergilah Tanya ayah ko tu…*dengus*dengus*dengus*…”        

-__-

“ape nak dicari kat __________” ß-insert name of places you want to go…tak kira, pulau tioman ke…pavilion ke…jusco ke….

my father, on the other hand, was quite supportive every time I wanted to go some where.

“nak pergi mana kali ni? Huh? Tioman? Best tu tioman…adik pergi bahagian mana? Ayah ada kaan kat situ tu…dulu ayah ada pergi tioman…masa tu tioman tak membangun lagi…ape pon takde…pulau kosong jer time tu…best la adik pergi…sekarang mesti dah ada banyak chalet…facilities…line talifon ada?” 

^_^

the positive reaction I got from my father, I think was largely contributed from his own liking to travel too…so, he knew “ape nak dicari kat tioman tu”.

And

And

And

From his GUILT kooootttt…hahahahahahahaha….

When I was small…I can say that I travel quite a bit with my parents…you know being the youngest and stuff…aku jerlah yang selalu dapat ikot pon…we went to Terengganu, balik to our kampung in kota tinggi johor and stuff…

So, we would pass all these interesting places that Malaysia has to offer la kan…

For example, like gunung ledang.

“ha dik, adik nampak tu? Tu lah gunung ledang.” -à point to gunung ledang, miles and miles away from the car window at a speed of 140mph.

gunung ledang would just zoooshhh pass me.

Or

Like air terjun kota tinggi.

“ha dik…kalau kita masuk simpang ni nanti…sampailah kat air terjun tu…” à point to the entrance of the simpang.

Worst…tak nampak pon air terjun tu.

So, this is what I call…

Percutian tunjuk!!!