rare ni weh...

...gambar wa tanpa spek tuuu...

yeerrr

I do not often reveal that I know how to read, write, and speak Mandarin. Therefore, telling my students this extra bit of information about me is not a priority too.

I often have to control my facial expression every time my students complained about their assignments, gossiped about me, their group members and so on…

Most of the time, it was only after a few weeks into the lecture that my students would know. Most of the time, it was unintentional.

Student, in Mandarin.

“yeerrr…so troublesome…assignment like this also want us to do…”

Teacher, in English.

“it’s okay if you do not want to do it…I do not mind not marking it too.”

Student – small eye became big.

Teacher – smile smile and dismissed the class.

mei ling

a couple of years ago, I moved out of my rented house in sec 17, shah alam into another state and eventually settled back into selangor in equin park, seri kembangan. for some twist of fate…some of my geng rumah 17 moved in with me at equin park as well…jolly fun fun fun…our landlord was a very kind-but-limited-malay-vocab Chinese lady. I did not reveal to her that I can read, write and speak in mandarin…

so for three odd years as her tenant…we talk german with her…and her vice versa…

Until the situation became too dire.

the sink in the bathroom broke…it fell and turned into pieces. I didn’t have a clue how it happened.

we called our tenant…explained to her using the simplest malay ev-ver…but failed…she went like…

“…ooh….itu AAA…itu sing cuci itu mangKOK ka?”

“bukan, bukan auntie…itu sink dalam bilik mandi punya. Sink kecik”

“apa pasat lu mandi itu sing buleh kasi pecah?”

eh…

“bukan auntie…sink yang pecah itu adalah sink dalam bilik mandi…toilet toilet…”

“ooo toilet…tandas picah laaaa…apa pasat tandas buleh picah? Itu mahat oooo…”

“eh…mahal ke auntie…murah je lah saya rasa…”

“lu macam mana pigi toilet?”

eh…

this goes on until several more minutes…despite the lengthy explanation, the repairman did not come.

We reached the pinnacle.

“ti…ko kena explain kat auntie tu lah ti…ko kena explain ngan dia…ko cakap cina la ti…”

“aku tojeng la cik has…dan dan aku tau cakap cina plak…kesian dia doh…macam kena tipu jer nanti dia rasa…”

“habis tu…aku rasa dia tak faham tu der…”

“adoiiiiiii…kot aku dari awal dah cakap cina ngan dia tak per weh…”

then…

light bulb…

eureka…

I called our beloved auntie…

“auntie ar…saya ada satu kawan ni…dia tau cakap cina punya…dia kasi explain sama auntie pasal masalah ni ok…”

“ha ok ok ok…lagi sinang…”

“sekejap ar auntie…”

I merely put the phone inches away, pretending to be calling out to my “friend”…

by now, the others were holding onto their stomach for dear life…

I passed the phone to my Chinese-speaking “friend”.

In mandarin…I said…

“Wei…auntie...wo shi mei ling…shi…dui de…wo shi siti de peng you…tui aa…ta jiao wo lai bang ta 

jie shi yi dian dong…dui… … …”

translation:

“hello auntie, im mei ling, yes, right on, im siti’s friend...right…she asked me to come and help her to explain…yes…”

problem solved after that…

…not without donning my mandarin-speaking alter ego mei ling.