occupational hazard

Semua kerja ada occupational hazard masing masing.

Tukang buat kek melecur tangan.

Tukang buat baju tercucuk jarum.

Tukang buat hantaran tercucuk duri daun bunga ros.

Tukang buat pelamin terstapler-gun tangan sendiri.

Tukang buat kecoh kena pukul.

Tukang isi minyak pon ada occupational hazardnya yang sendiri.

Ada sebab weh kenapa…bila dah masuk mana mana stesen minyak…buang lah rokok kau tuh…

Brader ni naik motor…dia datang kat pam aku. Kebetulan adik perempuan dia pon kerja sekali kat situ…aku pon malas lah nak layan brader tu…aku suruh adik dia jer yang isi.

Brader ni kiranya macam gengster la…rokok ada jerk at mulut dia…nak terjatuh tak terjatuh…enjin pon tak nka matikan…aku pon malas nak tegur…lantaklah…dia bawa motor yang jenis tangki kat depan tu…yang tak yah nak turun motor bila nak isi minyak tu…adik dia pon isilah minyak…seriously…tak sampai beberapa minit…API MENJULANG NAIK…adik dia menjerit…dia tekangkang kangkang elak api…haaa…baru padan muka…then ayah datang bawa fire extinguisher…daripada oren terus jadi putih kawasan sekeliling…tak pasal pasal rambut adik dia terbakar jugak sikit…then ayah bisik: “nasib baik bukan kau isi motor dia tu tadi dik…” 

Bila ada pam attendant ni dulu…memang driver berlagak tuan besar weh…bila tanya berapa bang…nak tak nak jer jawab…kadang kadang tak pandang pon…bila nak confirmkan balik…”dua puloh ke bang?” “Dua puloh laaah…berapa kali nak cakap…” Pergh bang…kereta kau datsun burok tu jer kot…bukan main ‘ek kau yor…Dahlah berlagak…bodoh pulak tu…tak alert…Bila kita tengah isi minyak…dia menonong jer pandang depan…dia gak agak cam sepuloh ringgit tu dah habis isi…vrrooommm terus nak cabut…ha kau…apa lagi…tercabut lah pam…lintang pukang gak lah sesape yang tengah isi minyak tu nak take cover…kot tak…hose pam tu melayang laying melantun lantun…kena libas,,,insyaAllah mati.

Kes macam ni…kena bagitau bos…

“Ma…pam kena tarik…”

“cik cik…pam kono tarik cik…”

haruslah disambut dengan bebelan mak aku…

“Maaaacam mana korang kerja niiihhhhhhhh…” semua perkataan kena tekan lebih sikit bila sebut.

Ada gak driver yang terus lari…ada gak driver yang berhenti…ada gak yang bayar ganti rugi…ada gak yang tak nak…bila cakap pasal ganti rugi ni…teruslah semua pihak menuding nuding jari.

It happened to me twice…

One time, it really caught me off guard…driver tu memang terus jer start enjin cabut…aku sempat bongkok sikit tutup muka…muka lah…dan jerit…jerit itu penting…muka pon penting…

Kali kedua…aku macam dah dapat agak yang driver ni mesti ingat aku dah habis isi minyak keta dia…sesaat lepas tu dia start enjin…aku hempuk bonet kereta dia nak bagi warning…tapi tak guna gak…aku hempuk, dia start kereta, pam tercabut, aku mmg peluk lutut cover kepala.

Kemek bonet dia aku hempuk. Aku kata tu impact nozel tu bila dia melayang. 

pagoda and pijot II

this was ayah's tough-for-all-terrain pijot!!! 

peugeot (read: per-joe) pijot (read: pijot laa..duh) same thing...

evidently, this trusty pijot took him on a wild ride...both literally, as seen in the picture on your left...and figuratively, evidently in the picture on your right.

it was no laughing matter you know with what has happened to picture on your right...if it was not for the tree..ayah would have crushed the house beneath and killed the elderly couple, as their bedroom was just inches away the car...you can literally open their bedroom window and retrieve anything from the glove compartment of the pijot. i took this picture...so i know...

i experienced my first fun-in-the-wild with ayah quite accidentally because of this pijot as well.

he took me and my other brother (not the jaga badan one) to see some of his friends who were already there at the camping ground...he was not supposed to join them but just to...i don't know la...so...he was not suppose to stay...that's why he brought us along...kalau tak, jangan harap la...

when i saw the camping ground...oh, yes, his friends are camping all right...but not on the ground!!! they were instead "camping" on a fragile looking hut on stilts that perched above the RIVEEERRRRR!!! and to get there...you have to walk along a very thin and flimsy looking bridge...

                           I'm determined to show you the bridge...it was the pole marked with 1 dot. 

2 dots is a tree by the way.

3 dots and 4 dots i guess were the back-up bridge should 1 dot collapsed!!!!!

so...ok...i did not die...i managed to get to the hut safely...not making a lot of movement tho...for fear the hut collapsed and fell into the fierce-looking river...apparently...they built the hut for fishing purposes...something like that...to catch fish...no bubu no fishing pole uollss...cacak pondok atas sungai terus!

when we were about to go back in the evening...ayah found out that his headlight did not work...fius terbakar or something like that....if he insisted to continue his journey without the headlight...he would not have make it even out of the shallow wood. 

when i think about it now...ayah could have sabotaj his own headlight...just so he could stay...hahahahaha...because i still remember, he called mom and said: "kawan tak boleh balik la...lampu depan rosak..." sambil senyum senyum sengih...

so...my fate with the hut is sealed...i have to sleep there apparently...gulp...all boys some more...

oh, did i mention...the hut has NO WALL????????? you golek golek la masa tido...terus tergolek masuk dalam sungai...and to my friends who knew me...im not polite when i sleep. 

i could not sleep well...but because i could not sleep well...i could see how bright the moon was...it literally lit up the whole area...the river, the wood, the trees...the water was literally shining because of the moon...the sound of cricket and other insects...so soothing...the sound of water...if you sleep on your tummy...you could see the water running from in between the bamboo floor...

i woke up tomorrow morning with the urgent need to answer the nature's call in the nature (no pun intended)...i told my father...

"yah...nak gi toilet..."

"hahahaha...mana ada toilet sini..."

i still remember...i widen my eyes whilst at the same time...kemut...so that "it" will go up and never want to go down...but i failed...

"tapi aye tak leh tahan dah ni..."

"ok...jom...jom gi toilet"

his "toilet" was behind some huge huge fallen log.

i never felt so calm answering the nature's call in the nature.

pagoda and pijot I

 ayah...through the years...

we were flipping through these old pictures...and we were surprised by the similarities...pakaian ayah!!!

hahahahahaha...

MESTI pagoda putih round neck nipis nampak puting tetek ngan seluar jean Lee biru pudar pudar ada putih putih sikit...

the oldest should be the first two landscape pictures...

the first one, with the boys proudly posing with their catch-of-the-day, ayah was the third from left (yes, your left)...ya ya...belakang yang tengah posing maut dengan tangan cekak pinggang...cermin mata hitam lengkap...walau dalam hutan...(ape? you kata you vain??? dia lagi vain!!!)

The second landscape picture by the river...ayah was the one standing...

the third landscape picture...ayah was the on standing...

the last two portrait pictures...ha...tekalah yang mana satu ayah...hahahaha...

with his family...without fail...pagoda and jeans...