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Lepas gi rumah Nek Aji, kitaorang rasa macam dah lewat sangat…sebabnya…sebab utama balik kampung pon sebenarnya tak settle lagi…kot pergi rumah kedua ni kang takut dah lewat sangat…
“pergi jelah ma…tang KL tadi dah sebut nak pergi jenguk Wan Jenab…”
“sukati ko…pergilah…mama ikut jer…”
so…pergi jugaklah rumah Wan Jenab…sebab dah pasang niat kan dari awal nak pergi jenguk. Sebelum pergi rumah Wan Jenab…aku berhenti jap kat kedai beli a few grocery for her and family dan sekotak Benson & Hedges untuk dia!!! Hahahahaha…kang jadi macam masa raya dulu…
“Laaaa Ti…lamo dah tak jumpo ekau ni ha…ekau datang tengok uwan ni datang kosong yor kor? Rokok uwan eh mano?”
hahahaha…this time, im wiser…prepare siap2.
So off we go to her house…
“alamak ma…banyak nyer kereta…segan la plak.”
“sabtu ahad ni dik…cucu dia semua balik ni.”
“nak patah balik ke ma?”
“hish ko ni gila…org dah nampak kita masuk sampai kat halaman dia ni dah…”
“barang2 ni nak bawa masuk ke? Segan…”
“tulah…segan…”
“tak payah ma?”
“tak payah ke?”
“tah…tak tau…”
“hish bawa je lah dik…ni dah rezeki dia nih…kita beli untuk dia…bagi jelah…”
“segan…”
“Takpe…bagi je…”
“ok…mama yang bagi.”
So I think, di sinilah setan memainkan peranan…bila ko nak buat baik je…setan akan tiupkan pelbagai jenis andaian untuk ko berubah hati dan tidak meneruskan niat baik ko tu…
aku berniat baik beli a few staple food stuff for her and family…tak banyak mana pon…and tak mahal mana pon…but mind you…kuasa Tuhan, masa kat kedai tu…aku order this and that…”ane, kira…” “une rene…banyak ni adek…” “ok.” Then I thought… “lah murah je…banyak gak ni aku amek…” conclusion aku…bila ko buat sesuatu dengan niat yang baik…God will stretch every penny that you have for the benefits of others. No?
Tapi tulah…bila sampai kat rumah Wan Jenab…aku jadi segan nak bawa masuk and kasi ape yang aku dah beli…segan dengan anak cucu dia semua…nanti apa pulak diaorg kata…(cos, you see, like with Nek Aji, im not even related to her…this part I’ll explain later in another entry) dan dan tu…banyak gila tanggapan burok bermain kat kepala aku nih…kang diaorg ingat aku ni poyo jer beli barang untuk nenek dia…kang diaorg ingat aku ni melebih lebih you know…those kinds of stupid thoughts yang setan tiupkan dalam hati ko.
Tapi Alhamdullillah…my mom and i…continued to do what we came there to do…to visit and bertanya khabar kawan lama.
I gave my salam and true enough memang ramai lah kat rumah Wan Jenab masa tu…just when I expected to see Wan Jenab sitting on her usual spot at the top of the staircase smoking…I was told that she had a very very very bad fall…and it has been for over two weeks… : ( : (
Mama naik atas dulu jumpa Wan Jenab…aku malas nak hovering around sick people…so I stayed in the kitchen.
Kat dapur tu…aku jumpa this one uncle.
“ni anak arwah yang nombor berapa ya?”
“yang bongsu.”
“ooo…uncle dulu satu kelas arwah your father…dari darjah satu saaaaaampai standard six.”
“wah…ye ke uncle…?”
“yes…then after that…we went our separate ways…”
“ooo…”
“after that ada jumpa kejap…masa kami masuk pulapol.”
“pulapol? Pulapol polis?”
“ya…polis…masa tu uncle and your father were recruited untuk jadi polis* di jalan semarak.”
“ayah pernah nak jadi polis? Hahahahahaha…”
“oh…you did not know?”
“no…hahahahahaha…”
“but your father was there for a week je…lepas seminggu dia cabut…tak sempat nak turunkan cap jari** pon”
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.”
You see, knowing my dad, he can never be a policeman…terikat dengan arahan dan disiplin…so not him. That is why I laugh…ayah pernah nak ladi polis…dan aku sikit lagi nak jadi anak polis!!!
Bila aku nampak mama dah turun…aku pon naik jumpa Wan Jenab…she was so so so so so frail. So so so so so frail. Everytime she moved her left arm and hand…she would let out a sorrowful sigh. Everytime she moved her hips, she would let out a sorrowful sigh… : ( : ( : (
Lengan kiri Wan Jenab dah lebam biru gila…apparently, two weeks plus ago, she woke up and 3am and wanted to go to the loo but fell on her way to the bathroom…Wan Jenab sempat tahan daripada nak jatuh pakai tangan kiri dia… : ( : ( : ( : ( : (
I just sat beside her. Stroke her hand and forehead…whispered to her “Wan…ni siti ni…”
She was very much aware of her surrounding…Alhamdullillah.
“siti dah makan? Poie makan dulu.”
“siti dah minum? Poie minum dulu.”
This is the sweetest thing about any grandmother…they always fuss us to eat and drink!
Sitting beside her made me think…nanti, aku tua dan tak bermaya macam Wan Jenab sekarang ni…ape yang aku nak?
Aku nak orang doakan untuk aku, aku nak ada orang just sit beside me and do nothing…or better yet, do what I say.
so, that’s what I did. Sit beside her, and pray silently. Sambil sambil tu aku usap usap tangan dia… Dia suruh garu sini aku garu sini…dia suruh garu sana aku garu sana…sekali sekala akan terasa Wan Jenab genggam tangan aku. Pastu tiba tiba…genggaman Wan Jenab jadi kuat…dia tarik aku pegi dekat dengan dia. Then she said:
“Ti…Ti maafkanlah dosa dosa ayah Siti yer…”
tipu kalau kata aku tak tergamam. I was speechless alright.
“Yer Wan dah Wan…tiap tiap hari Siti maafkan…tiap-tiap hari Siti minta kat Tuhan, diampunkan juga dosa dosa ayah.”
“Camtu lah yang iyor eh…iyorlah…Tolong Wan garu ha…”
“iyolah Wan…kek mano?”
“Ti…Ti maafkanlah dosa dosa ayah Siti yer…”
“Ti…Ti maafkanlah dosa dosa ayah Siti yer…”
“Ti…Ti maafkanlah dosa dosa ayah Siti yer…”
“Ti…Ti maafkanlah dosa dosa ayah Siti yer…”
“Ti…Ti maafkanlah dosa dosa ayah Siti yer…”
“Ti…Ti maafkanlah dosa dosa ayah Siti yer…”
“Ti…Ti maafkanlah dosa dosa ayah Siti yer…”
it made me think…have i? cukup ikhlaskah aku?
cont
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*apparently, after the 13 may incident, police were looking for young men to be recruited into the police force. Menurut cerita uncle ni…masa tu diaorang tengah main sepak raga kat perkarangan surau kampung jawa when the police came and offered them. They offered themselves and were accepted.
**apparently, menurut uncle ni…polis yang baru banyak kena sign document pakai cap jari…hampir tiap tiap hari…ada je benda yang nak kena sign pakai cap jari.
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