here i am again….
seems like it was yesterday when i saw your face memang betul pun ayah, memang macam baru semalam ayah masak untuk kitaorang…
you told me how proud you were, but i walked away haha…adik ingat lagi…ada perselisihan faham that we had…i remembered, i called you…trying to solve the arguement that you had with abang meme…i told you that abang meme tu sebenarnye sayangkan ayah…kalau dia tak nak cakap ngan ayah pun…ayahlah try cakap dengan dia dulu, abang nampak je macam tu, tapi dia lembut hati…then ayah cakap…ayah tau anak anak ayah…yang tengah bercakap dengan ayah ni pun hati dia keras tapi lembut gak…
if only i knew what i know today
oohh, oohh kalaulah adik tau yah…semua ni akan berlaku…adik takkan halang ayah bia ayah nak hantar adik balik shah alam, bukan adik tak nak, adik cuma tak nak menyusahkan ayah…tol and duit minyak lagi…bila ayah ajak pergi beli kerang, adik cakap tak nak sebab malas nak mandi….bila ayah…macam macam lagilah…
i would hold you in my arms : ) adik ingat lagi…memang best dapat peluk ayah…cium bau bedak cuticura….
i would take the pain away memang tak logik kalau nak pikul kesakitan yang ayah tanggung….tapi kalau at least adik dapat kurangkan separuh….at least bawa ayah balik pilah naik helicopter instead of ambulan…jalan teruk…lubang sana sini…ayah cukup tak selesa masa tu, adik tau…
thank you for all you’ve done ayah, ayah hantar and jemput adik ke sekolah tiap tiap hari dari tadika hingga habis sekolah menengah…pegi tuition lagi…pegi rumah si kurus…rumah siow feh yee….ape lagi yang ayah tak buat…masak untuk kitaorang…makanan yang best best….bagi duit belanja…ayah carikan buluh lemang unutk drama adik…siap bakar lemang tu supaya nmpk real…kawan kawan ayah semua tanya…buek apo ekau bakar buluh kosong nal…ayah datang shah alam tengok teater adik…ape lagi yang ayah tak buat…semuanya ayah buat…
forgive all your my, MY, MY mistakes adik tak rasa adik sempat minta maaf ngan ayah…adik minta ampun yah…atas segala salah silap adik…terkasar bahasa…teringkar perintah…maafkan adik yah…
there’s nothing that i wouldn’t do
to hear you voice again adik selalu gak tengok video ayah dalam phone adik…saje…nak dengar suara ayah…
sometimes i wanna call you adik pernah sekali terdial number ayah………tak sedar…….tercall……..
but i know you won’t be there bila operater tu cakap number ni tiada dalam perkhidmatan, baru adik sedar…adik sendiri yang pergi potong line handphone ayah….
oohh i’m sorry for blaming you
for everything i just couldn’t do banyak yah…yang adik tak dapat buat……masa ayah ada…banyak yang adik tak dapat buktikan kat ayah…….
and i’ve hurt myself by hurting you adik memang susah nak maafkan diri adik…somehow…i feel guilty….
some days i feel broke inside but i won’t admit abang dd, meme, kak long and especially mama, tak tau yang i’m really hurting inside…i have difficulties coping with your lost….except for him…..i always tell him….
sometimes i just wanna hide cos its you i miss
and its so hard to say goodbye ya, memang terlalu susah nak lepaskan ayah pergi…adik tahu…adik kena relakan…ya, adik relakan pemergian ayah…tapi susah yah…
when it comes to this oohh
would you tell me i was wrong
would you help me understand kalau bolah, adik nak ayah yang bagitau sendiri macam mana caranya……….which is impossible…i know….
are you looking down upon me
are you proud of who i am adik rasa…ayah tak sempat pun nak bangga kat adik…when you left, i have not achieve anything yet to prove it to you….ayah tak sempat nak tengok adik grad…aadik tak sempat nak belikan ayah ape ape dari duit gaji adik….ayah tak dapat nak tengok adik kahwin…bagi ayah cucu lagi….ayah tak dapat nak tengok rumah baru yang adik akan beli nanti…..how can you be proud of me……..
there’s nothing i wouldn’t do
to have just one more chance
to look into your eyes
and see you looking back adik selalu zoom…tiap kali tengok gambar ayah….zoom ke mata ayah…at least it looks like you are looking back………your eyes hold many thoughts, hopes, dreams, problems………….adik minta maaf tak dapat nak tolong ayah solvekan problem problem tuh………
oohh i’m sorry for blaming you mana ada yah…adik tak pernak blame ayah atas ape ape hal sekalipun……..
for everything that i just couldn’t do there are many things that i couldn’t do ayah…and i am so sorry……i don’t have enough money to transported you back to kuala pilah by helicopter…intead, you have to endure a very rough journey in an ambulans….i saw how painful you are…menahan sakit…setiap lima minit tanya dah sampai ke belum….dah sampai ke belum….even until today and i believe even for the rest of my life…every time i see an ambulan or the heli…i wil think of you…the suffering…the pain…..the are other things as well….the last meal…the very last meal yang ayah minta…masak kicap….i run like mad pegi dapur, ambik masak kicap…tapi tak boleh kasi sebab ada minyak…lari balik semula ke dapur…ambik kicap betul…pastu kasi kat ayah…tipu ayah cakap tu masak kicap…padahal tu adalah kicap betul….adik minta maaf yah…tipu ayah…banyak benda adik tipu masa tu…..adik betul betul minta maaf yah…..i couldn’t make the pain lesser than it already is….walau sikit…walau sebesar zarah sekalipun…..i couldn’t give you all the drink that you want….doktor cakap your body is retaining too much water already….i couldn’t give you harris everytime you asked for him…he is too small to be inside the hospital…..banyak benda yah yang adik tak dapat buat untuk ayah……
and i hurt myself like right now…at this very moment…..
if i had just one more day
i would tell you just how much i’ve missed you definitely i will ayah……..
since you’ve been away since you have been away….kaset nonstop keroncong dalam kereta tu dah takde sape pasang….tapi ada lagi…kitaorang tak alihkan….since you’ve been away…i avoided enya, ya, enya the singer…cos you like her, kan…..since you’ve been away….i lost a companion to tallk to….i always told you about the going-ons with my friends kan…..sape dah clash dengan sape, sape buat ape sekarang…..sape beli handphone baru….macam macam lah….ayah memang suka layan cerita cerita adik kan….about lecturers, the schools….anything good on newspapers…shared with you the interesting programms coming up on national geo, discovery….
oohh it’s dangerous
it’s so out of line
to try to turn back time oleh itu, adik terima pemergian ayah menemuiNya dengan redha….Al-Fatihah….
seems like it was yesterday when i saw your face memang betul pun ayah, memang macam baru semalam ayah masak untuk kitaorang…
you told me how proud you were, but i walked away haha…adik ingat lagi…ada perselisihan faham that we had…i remembered, i called you…trying to solve the arguement that you had with abang meme…i told you that abang meme tu sebenarnye sayangkan ayah…kalau dia tak nak cakap ngan ayah pun…ayahlah try cakap dengan dia dulu, abang nampak je macam tu, tapi dia lembut hati…then ayah cakap…ayah tau anak anak ayah…yang tengah bercakap dengan ayah ni pun hati dia keras tapi lembut gak…
if only i knew what i know today
oohh, oohh kalaulah adik tau yah…semua ni akan berlaku…adik takkan halang ayah bia ayah nak hantar adik balik shah alam, bukan adik tak nak, adik cuma tak nak menyusahkan ayah…tol and duit minyak lagi…bila ayah ajak pergi beli kerang, adik cakap tak nak sebab malas nak mandi….bila ayah…macam macam lagilah…
i would hold you in my arms : ) adik ingat lagi…memang best dapat peluk ayah…cium bau bedak cuticura….
i would take the pain away memang tak logik kalau nak pikul kesakitan yang ayah tanggung….tapi kalau at least adik dapat kurangkan separuh….at least bawa ayah balik pilah naik helicopter instead of ambulan…jalan teruk…lubang sana sini…ayah cukup tak selesa masa tu, adik tau…
thank you for all you’ve done ayah, ayah hantar and jemput adik ke sekolah tiap tiap hari dari tadika hingga habis sekolah menengah…pegi tuition lagi…pegi rumah si kurus…rumah siow feh yee….ape lagi yang ayah tak buat…masak untuk kitaorang…makanan yang best best….bagi duit belanja…ayah carikan buluh lemang unutk drama adik…siap bakar lemang tu supaya nmpk real…kawan kawan ayah semua tanya…buek apo ekau bakar buluh kosong nal…ayah datang shah alam tengok teater adik…ape lagi yang ayah tak buat…semuanya ayah buat…
forgive all your my, MY, MY mistakes adik tak rasa adik sempat minta maaf ngan ayah…adik minta ampun yah…atas segala salah silap adik…terkasar bahasa…teringkar perintah…maafkan adik yah…
there’s nothing that i wouldn’t do
to hear you voice again adik selalu gak tengok video ayah dalam phone adik…saje…nak dengar suara ayah…
sometimes i wanna call you adik pernah sekali terdial number ayah………tak sedar…….tercall……..
but i know you won’t be there bila operater tu cakap number ni tiada dalam perkhidmatan, baru adik sedar…adik sendiri yang pergi potong line handphone ayah….
oohh i’m sorry for blaming you
for everything i just couldn’t do banyak yah…yang adik tak dapat buat……masa ayah ada…banyak yang adik tak dapat buktikan kat ayah…….
and i’ve hurt myself by hurting you adik memang susah nak maafkan diri adik…somehow…i feel guilty….
some days i feel broke inside but i won’t admit abang dd, meme, kak long and especially mama, tak tau yang i’m really hurting inside…i have difficulties coping with your lost….except for him…..i always tell him….
sometimes i just wanna hide cos its you i miss
and its so hard to say goodbye ya, memang terlalu susah nak lepaskan ayah pergi…adik tahu…adik kena relakan…ya, adik relakan pemergian ayah…tapi susah yah…
when it comes to this oohh
would you tell me i was wrong
would you help me understand kalau bolah, adik nak ayah yang bagitau sendiri macam mana caranya……….which is impossible…i know….
are you looking down upon me
are you proud of who i am adik rasa…ayah tak sempat pun nak bangga kat adik…when you left, i have not achieve anything yet to prove it to you….ayah tak sempat nak tengok adik grad…aadik tak sempat nak belikan ayah ape ape dari duit gaji adik….ayah tak dapat nak tengok adik kahwin…bagi ayah cucu lagi….ayah tak dapat nak tengok rumah baru yang adik akan beli nanti…..how can you be proud of me……..
there’s nothing i wouldn’t do
to have just one more chance
to look into your eyes
and see you looking back adik selalu zoom…tiap kali tengok gambar ayah….zoom ke mata ayah…at least it looks like you are looking back………your eyes hold many thoughts, hopes, dreams, problems………….adik minta maaf tak dapat nak tolong ayah solvekan problem problem tuh………
oohh i’m sorry for blaming you mana ada yah…adik tak pernak blame ayah atas ape ape hal sekalipun……..
for everything that i just couldn’t do there are many things that i couldn’t do ayah…and i am so sorry……i don’t have enough money to transported you back to kuala pilah by helicopter…intead, you have to endure a very rough journey in an ambulans….i saw how painful you are…menahan sakit…setiap lima minit tanya dah sampai ke belum….dah sampai ke belum….even until today and i believe even for the rest of my life…every time i see an ambulan or the heli…i wil think of you…the suffering…the pain…..the are other things as well….the last meal…the very last meal yang ayah minta…masak kicap….i run like mad pegi dapur, ambik masak kicap…tapi tak boleh kasi sebab ada minyak…lari balik semula ke dapur…ambik kicap betul…pastu kasi kat ayah…tipu ayah cakap tu masak kicap…padahal tu adalah kicap betul….adik minta maaf yah…tipu ayah…banyak benda adik tipu masa tu…..adik betul betul minta maaf yah…..i couldn’t make the pain lesser than it already is….walau sikit…walau sebesar zarah sekalipun…..i couldn’t give you all the drink that you want….doktor cakap your body is retaining too much water already….i couldn’t give you harris everytime you asked for him…he is too small to be inside the hospital…..banyak benda yah yang adik tak dapat buat untuk ayah……
and i hurt myself like right now…at this very moment…..
if i had just one more day
i would tell you just how much i’ve missed you definitely i will ayah……..
since you’ve been away since you have been away….kaset nonstop keroncong dalam kereta tu dah takde sape pasang….tapi ada lagi…kitaorang tak alihkan….since you’ve been away…i avoided enya, ya, enya the singer…cos you like her, kan…..since you’ve been away….i lost a companion to tallk to….i always told you about the going-ons with my friends kan…..sape dah clash dengan sape, sape buat ape sekarang…..sape beli handphone baru….macam macam lah….ayah memang suka layan cerita cerita adik kan….about lecturers, the schools….anything good on newspapers…shared with you the interesting programms coming up on national geo, discovery….
oohh it’s dangerous
it’s so out of line
to try to turn back time oleh itu, adik terima pemergian ayah menemuiNya dengan redha….Al-Fatihah….
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